I have diagnosed myself with the complex of everything needing to be planned and orderly for me to be at peace..I’m pretty sure it’s called being human. But I have also recently discovered that I am capable of letting go. And this, my friends, is exciting.
I found out almost a month ago that I will be spending five weeks of my summer in Cape Town, South Africa. Through Campus Crusade, Thomas and I will be traveling with 40 other students from around the country to assist new ministries on college campuses, share the Gospel with students and also work at a community center in a more rural area. After being accepted on the trip via phone, I just cried. I cried because I am nervous. I cried because I finally get to see another country and know people in it. I cried because I felt a freedom in taking a risk that I’ve never felt before. So now begins the support-raising, which will definitely require a lot of faith that God will provide.
In other my-life-is-so-uncertain news, I currently don’t know where I’m living next year. While I did have plans to stay at home, I found out A DAY BEFORE the housing sign-up that juniors with my scholarship are not allowed to live off campus..only the seniors. So that threw a heavy wrench in things. In a mad dash to figure something (anything) out, Shannon and I signed up to live in Candlewood Suites, which is technically off-campus, but a partnership with ISU allows students to live there. However, according to the res life staff, they are not certain that the partnership will continue. Hm.
And then there’s the cliche question, “What in the world am I going to do with my life?” and just as pressing, the question “Will we move away?” I don’t know at this point. But for right now, I’m really ok with that. I very much feel that God is in control and I don’t have to doubt that He can handle it. Maybe this has just been a mentally-peaceful week. Or maybe I’m learning to remember who’s steering this ship.